In recent times, much has been said about resilience. The term became popular enough to talk about personal and professional life, being indicated as an essential feature to deal well with events.
Do you want to understand a little better about the topic and how to develop this skill? The Healthy Minute tells you!
- 1 What is the concept of human resilience?
- 2 What is it to be a resilient person?
- 3 10 tips for working and developing resilience
What is the concept of human resilience?
In psychology, resilience can be defined as a person’s ability to adapt to changes and deal with adverse situations, such as trauma, losses, financial difficulties, among others.
The term comes from physics, which says that resilience is the ability of an object to return to its original shape after undergoing stressors and having been deformed.
Psychology borrowed the term because it very well defines this ability that the human being has to deal with a large amount of stress and move on.
However, the term of physics talks about returning to the original form, which does not occur in humans. Whenever we experience adversity, we learn something and grow with it.
The individual does not return to its original form, like a metal bar, for example. But he certainly comes out of the situation even more strengthened and with a greater capacity to move on with his life.
It is worth remembering that resilience does not mean the absence of negative emotions in the face of adversity, but the ability to recover from these emotions and be able to deal with problems even with those emotions.
So it’s not about not being frustrated or staying optimistic all the time. But to be able to move forward despite the frustrations, despite not having such an optimistic outlook, despite all the opposing forces.
What is it to be a resilient person?
A resilient person is a flexible person . This means that he is able to adapt in the face of adverse situations, seeking to solve his problems in new ways, without insisting on the old ways of dealing with situations.
Just like a resilient metal, a person must be able to unfold himself to withstand the pressures. That is, able to leave the comfort zone to solve their problems, and then return to their strengthened routine and with new learning.
However, it is important to remember that resilience is not an innate characteristic, but a capacity developed throughout life. For this reason, people with a low tolerance for frustration, who end up giving up their goals, can indeed become resilient if they wish!
10 tips for working and developing resilience
Resilience is a skill that can be developed. And there is no big secret about it, so that everyone can adopt strategies to improve their ability to deal with situations.
Below are 10 tips for working and developing resilience:
1. Be flexible
Didn’t things go as you expected? Insisting on the same mistakes can not only not solve the problem, but also worsen resilience.
You have to be a little more flexible, try to see things from another angle, try to understand the situation better and look for new solutions.
Feeling frustrated by plans going wrong is not a problem, as long as this frustration does not prevent you from moving forward. Sadness is part of it, but it must not be disabling.
2. Work on emotional regulation
As has been said, it is not a problem to have negative feelings in the face of adverse situations. However, letting these feelings undermine the way you deal with such situations is what is really problematic.
To avoid this, it is necessary to work on emotional regulation. This means understanding your own emotions, allowing yourself to feel sadness and frustration, expressing them properly and moving on.
Many people, for example, do not allow themselves to cry when they are sad, and believe that this is synonymous with good emotional control. It is not. In reality, those who have good emotional regulation allow themselves to cry at appropriate times and amounts.
Most of the people who do not allow themselves to cry, when faced with a situation that makes them shed tears, simply cannot keep from crying – they end up crying with great intensity, and for long periods of time.
People who have good emotional regulation are able to cry with moderate intensity, as well as better control crying when it is not an appropriate expression.
3. Learn the lessons
Even in the worst situations, there are always lessons to be learned, even if it is just not repeating the same acts anymore.
Allowing yourself to learn from adverse situations is one of the key points of resilience, because in the future, when faced with something similar, the person will be better prepared to deal with the problem.
4. Avoid the role of victim
Bad things happen to everyone in the world. Ask yourself “why me?” is not very productive in dealing with the problem. It is necessary to try to understand your active role in the situation, instead of posing as a passive victim.
That’s because, when you take an active role, you also open up a range of possibilities for action to deal with the problem. It is like taking the reins of your own life and not letting misfortunes guide the way.
5. Maintain a support network
A support network formed by friends and family is very helpful to have a high resilience. People who can count on their close friends and family are often much more resilient than people who feel alone or have no one to count on.
6. Learn to accept help
Sometimes, we think we are stronger than we really are. Resilience is not synonymous with enduring everything alone – on the contrary, being able to count on the help of other people is extremely important to develop good resilience.
If you are the type of person who has a hard time accepting the help that people offer you, one tip is to try to accept that help more. This does not mean weakness or incapacity, but just sharing the burden of adverse situations with others.
7. Have moments of self-care
Self-care is extremely important to develop good resilience. And this is not only about taking care of your health, but also taking time for leisure.
So, in addition to eating properly and exercising, it is important to enjoy free time in activities that you enjoy doing, hobbies, among others.
Activities such as meditation, yoga, among others, can also fit into self-care activities. However, the most important thing is to be able to be distracted and relieve tension.
8. Invest in self-knowledge
Self-knowledge is not only good for knowing your own qualities, but also for understanding your own defects. In this way, it is possible to know what kind of situation causes the most stress, in order to establish some personal limits and avoid unnecessary stress.
This is a huge ally in terms of resilience. It is by knowing yourself that you can learn from situations, as well as knowing what resources you have at hand to face adverse situations.
In addition, investing in self-awareness helps you understand your purpose, why you keep doing the things you do – and knowing your purpose is also a key element in tolerating frustration and resilience.
9. Have realistic plans
It is not possible to be resilient when dealing with crazy and utopian plans. That’s because, in these plans, frustration occurs all the time, and no one can stay healthy mentally for so long in this scenario.
Making realistic plans, which are in line with the opportunities that arise, as well as with the resources you have, is of utmost importance to avoid unnecessary frustrations and keep you on track.
Psychotherapy is a type of therapy that promotes not only self-knowledge, but also techniques and learning that can help a lot to deal with adversities.
It is worth remembering that therapy is beneficial for anyone, not just for people with mental disorders.
This is because it promotes much more than just the treatment of symptoms of disorders, such as problem solving techniques, relaxation techniques , changes in problematic behaviors, among others.
Therapy can be a great ally when it comes to developing resilience, regardless of whether you have a diagnosis or not!
Developing resilience is a way of dealing with life (personal, professional, affective) in a more balanced and healthy way. And for that, there is no big secret.
Simple measures that can be adopted daily can assist in this process. Want to see more tips for a balanced life? The Healthy Minute helps you!