How to overcome a separation: with children, betrayal, traumatic

During life, it is common for relationships to begin and end. Sometimes, it is because there is incompatibility of affinities, due to lack of affection or by dozens of other factors.

Often, the terms are troubled, because even in strained relationships, there is still affection between the couple. But even in friendly terms, when people mature, feelings can be complex.

Therefore, knowing how to deal with changes in life is important for the process to be, in fact, beneficial for the people involved.

How to overcome a separation: tips for mental health

There is no recipe for overcoming a breakup, but there are certainly tips that can help make this period a little bit lighter. Are they:

Live your emotions

It is common to experience a mixture of emotions, especially negative ones, after an end. The emotions felt are similar to the phases of mourning , as it is a significant loss. In this sense, suppressing feelings is not a good idea.

Although friends and family will pressure you to get over it soon, having this genuine contact with negative emotions is extremely important to overcome them. Only when we allow ourselves to feel can we regulate those feelings.

So, experience all emotions, no matter how bad they are.

However, they cannot last forever: if you have been suffering for a long time because of a separation, it is important to seek help from mental health professionals .

Unburden with friends

Having people who like you around is critical to a good recovery. Being alone, especially after a breakup, can end up worsening the feeling of loneliness and abandonment.

Talk to friends, talk and ask for advice. This is because they can offer a new perspective, both in relation to the old relationship and other aspects of life.

Take advantage of this time also to make new friends. Meeting other people can take you to a new social circle and even yield new hobbies and interests!

Do not blame yourself

To make mistakes is human and, as much as you may have made mistakes with the old partner, blaming yourself will only make the suffering worse. The truth is that relationships usually end because of a combination of factors and it is rarely the fault of just one party.

So, blaming yourself for your mistakes is not the right way. Learn from them to avoid them in future relationships, but remember that the other person also has flaws and this weighs in at the time of termination.

Focus on the negative side

Remembering the person after the breakup is normal and often unavoidable. Even those who decided to end the relationship go through this. However, there may be a desire to resume when remembering the good times.

Therefore, one of the techniques to overcome is to focus on the negative side. Remember the negative points of the relationship. Keep in mind that it ended for a reason and coming back will only bring the bad side back.

Get away completely

It is nice when couples have a good relationship after the breakup, but it rarely happens, and there is a reason: maintaining contact can hinder the process of overcoming.

If that is your case, try to stay away. Don’t keep in touch on social networks and resist that urge to take a look at the profile just to see how the person is doing.

Don’t feel bad about it. If the relationship is over and there is no good reason to maintain a friendship, it is best that the person stay only in the past.

Eliminate triggers

Getting away completely may seem easy, but you must also let go of gifts and other items that the person may have left with you. They serve as triggers to remember the relationship and, for the most part, are very bad.

Try to return things that belong to the other person or just dispose of them if he doesn’t want them back.

Donate to those who need it, recycle or, depending on the object, simply throw it away. The important thing is not to keep it.

Take care of yourself

Self-care is one of the key points to overcome many things, especially separations. It may be obvious, but you are the only person who will be with you every day of your life.

Enjoying your own company, loving and valuing yourself are fundamental issues for getting well. Remember that your qualities are still there, even after you finish.

Take the time to do everything you wanted to do, including assessing whether there is something you have left or avoided doing because you are with the other person.

Also remember to cultivate this independence if you ever enter a new relationship, as it makes all the difference both to the dynamics of a healthy relationship and to overcoming if there is an end.

Separation with children: how to deal

Although separations are already complicated most of the time, when children are involved, there is a possibility of further complicating the situation.

Often, children pick up on the couple’s feelings and end up suffering as much, especially when they are young.

Many people choose to continue in an unhappy relationship on the assumption that their sons or daughters will suffer more from the separation.

However, it can bring more quality of life for the whole family, since it avoids fights and conflicts.

If the sons or daughters are older, talking frankly is a good option, as the dialogue will be more mature.

However, if you need to vent, avoid doing this with children (as), as they can generate unnecessary hurt and disaffection with the other party. Remember that the one who is separating is just the couple.

Separation with betrayal

Cheating does not always lead to the end of the relationship. However, if this is the case, recovery after completion may be a little slower and, not infrequently, deep marks are left.

In this case, it is normal to have difficulty trusting other people and entering a new relationship can even seem like a nightmare for fear that the betrayal will repeat itself.

Therefore, it is important to remember that the betrayal was someone else’s fault and not yours, which means that it is possible to find a new relationship without experiencing that situation again.

Don’t be in a hurry to find new love in order to overcome betrayal. First, because you may not have gotten over the old one, which already causes problems to start a new relationship.

Second, it is useless to be with a new person, however reliable he may be, being haunted by the ghost of past betrayal. Allow time and wait for the wound to heal before getting involved again with someone else.

When there is still love: how to separate?

Sometimes, the separation happens for reasons of force majeure, like a change of city or the person does more harm than good, becoming abusive. In these cases, when the two people still love each other, the feeling may be very unfair to the universe, but it is possible to overcome it.

Unfortunately, in some of these cases, mostly good memories remain, greatly increasing the desire to resume at the first opportunity. Therefore, it is extremely important to walk away from the person completely when there is still a lot of attachment.

Exclude the person from social networks, block if necessary, avoid following news.

Get away from the person’s friends and get closer to your own friends, as this will help a lot to reconnect with your life and put aside the life you used to have.

If you have been through an abusive relationship and have trouble forgetting the person, remember the bad things the person did that led you to break up in the first place. You don’t want that again for you, do you? The secret, in these cases, is to focus on the negative side.

Traumatic separation: how to overcome?

Sometimes, the separation can be traumatic, especially when it occurs unexpectedly. It is not preceded by fights or disagreements, love still seems to be in the air and everything seems to be going well, until, suddenly, the relationship ends.

It can also happen that one of the parties does not accept the end of the relationship and does everything to try to win back the other person, including emotional blackmail. All of this without mentioning the relationships that have been abusive since the beginning.

These cases usually cause a lot of stress , guilt, helplessness, among others. The emotional damage is so great that, often, you need help from mental health professionals.

If you have been in a relationship that has left such deep marks, do not hesitate to seek help! It is not always possible to overcome everything on your own and, with professional help, you can not only overcome the breakup but also treat the wounds left by that relationship.

Tips for a healthy relationship

A healthy relationship involves, above all, respect. And that respect is not just for the partner, but for yourself as well.

Self-care should come first and when you know that something can hurt the other person, be sincere. Otherwise, no matter how much you respect yourself and your wishes, you will not be respecting the relationship.

It is important to remember that some forms of attachment are not healthy, especially when they cause addiction or exaggerated jealousy.

If you suffer from such a problem, it is interesting to seek professional help to resolve it before you have a relationship with another person.


Relationships are an important process in people’s lives. They involve intimacy and affection, but they are not always eternal. When there is a need to break a relationship, a series of feelings can make that decision painful and troubled.

Therefore, it is always important to learn how to deal well with changes, maintaining well-being and preserving mental health. Read more tips and information in the Healthy Minut

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